


Rematch

by dendriax



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 00:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19878670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dendriax/pseuds/dendriax
Summary: "You were there when I woke up, back in 2011."Bucky blinks, focusing on not blowing up the bag of chips with the metal hand.Or: yet another Post-Endgame fix-it, ft. Bucky and Not his Steve (and also his Steve)





	Rematch

Bucky sticks around until he sees Sam securely take the shield from Steve, then turns to walk back. To where? Well, that's neither here nor there, is it?

He's musing about the goats when he senses another presence. Honestly, he's not in the mood for an ambush but it's not like he got anything better to do anyway, so.

"Hey, Buck," Steve says. Or at least Bucky's pretty sure that is -- a version of Steve. Shape-shifting aliens aren't unheard of but they'd have to be exceedingly dumb to try and pull this now.

Anywho, Bucky openly assesses the situation as 'Steve' inches towards him. He has the right posture although the disposition is different, more cautious, a bit nervous. But he looks like Steve alright, the right age. Well, maybe not the right age. Young, is the word. Like before he went back in time, but-- "You're not my Steve."

"No, I--" Not his Steve stammers, then freezes. Bucky can't tell for certain what kind of glare he's sporting at the moment but it makes this Steve stop moving altogether.

A couple of minutes pass as the two of them engage in a staring match -- Steve seemingly not breathing the whole time, which-- Bucky sighs. His Steve will be fine with Sam. "I could eat. You hungry?"

Steve perks up, his eyes wide and his smile hopeful. Bucky tries not to think about what it might mean, just that food seems like a good enough distraction for Steve not to stare at him the whole time he does whatever he came here to do.

"Come on, pal."

-

The food turns out to be from a gas station a good distance away. Steve pays, because he's stubborn and Bucky just can't win.

Steve has a car with him. Bucky had maybe thought he'd come through a portal so the fact surprised him a bit. Steve also has a map, the paper kind, which is reassuring. They drive further until they find a small lake not too far off the side of the road, with trees and no one around, which seems like a good place as any to... not try and murder each other. Talk, is what well-adjusted people do.

Without any preamble, Steve blurts out "You were there when I woke up," as soon as they settle down on the narrow beach. "I mean, my Bucky, in 2011."

Bucky blinks, focusing on not blowing up the bag of chips with the metal hand.

"And I was shocked, because you looked... well, like a nonagenarian."

Most of the chips are now on the pebbly ground, some in the water. Steve can have the ones in his lap, Bucky guesses.

"I moved into your spare bedroom," Steve continues, proffering an open bag of marshmallows. "You were a grumpy great grandpa, Buck. It was hilarious. You were fluent in pop culture and you pwned #backinmyday on social media."

"I--" Bucky grabs a spongy handful, because it's a thing to do. "I'm glad you finally admit you find my jokes funny?"

Steve chuckles, strangely easy, almost like he left all his awkwardness back in the car. "Only some of them, and maybe not in the way you intended."

Bucky shoves the marshmallows into his mouth, watching as the soggy chips start to drown. This is nice and all but he still doesn't know what Steve wants. "I'm sorry I didn't convince him to get you out sooner."

Some marshmallows fall from Steve's hand. Bucky opens a bag of jerked meat.

"Nothing to be sorry about, Buck," Steve recovers quickly, then lets out a long breath. "You asked me once if I thought you did the right thing, letting Other-me take me out when he did, and I-- Things turned out well. Other-me and Peggy got married. You found someone and started a family. HYDRA was gone for good. Waking up and knowing that everyone'd lived a full life was-- I mean, it wasn't what I imagined when you told me we were going to the future, but I'm glad I got to see that, to be able to spend some of that time with you, to know that Peggy got her dance. I also got to fight aliens..."

Maybe the other Bucky would know the right thing to say, this Steve's Bucky. Too bad.

"We had a routine. You'd be with a mug of coffee and reading the news when I came out of the shower after a morning run. I'd start breakfast and you'd complain about my boring food choice. Then we'd go out so you could show me around, which mostly meant you'd try and set me up with people. Sometimes one of your kids and their spouse would stop by, or one of your grandkids would pawn their kids on us to babysit. Most of the times, they'd come for dinner, or we'd come to them. Peggy and Other-me's family, too."

The jerky is really chewy and requires a lot of concentration.

"He came by your house more after Peggy passed. And I would just hide in my room because I never figured out how to be around him." The soda can in Steve's grip seems extra vulnerable. "Then one day, I heard the two of you yelling. You wouldn't tell me anything, but I think you two had a pretty big fight. He stopped showing up after that."

A gust of cold wind blows through the trees. Some fish are examining the sunken chips. Bucky keeps chewing.

"I never really care about what would happen to me. I know I talked a lot about not liking bullies and wanting to do what I could when we were young but, before the war, the realistic part of me just hoped for some more time with you."

Bucky's head snaps up to look at Steve then, because "What the hell?" Which is enough to make Steve flinch, and then swallow, but not enough to make him turn around.

"You know, back in that HYDRA base, when you said no, not without me, I thought hell, I'm gonna hold you to that forever," Steve carries on, still staring blankly out over the water. "And when you fell off the train, I-- I was gonna jump. You were slipping away and you'd given me the perfect comeback, but I knew you wouldn't've ever forgiven me so I didn't."

An excellent decision, since every version of Bucky would've killed him -- possibly with his severed arm.

"I wasn't gonna ask. Even after we buried you, I-- But then he said he was leaving, and talked about branching timelines and coming back and--" Steve's eyes dart over to where Bucky's hand is crushing a fistful of jerky. "I came here hoping-- I don't know, for some couch cushions on the floor?"

"Steve," Bucky says, using his don't-be-a-punk voice. Steve flicks his gaze up and finally makes eye contact.

"Don't worry. I'll find a job, earn my keep." Steve has on the look he uses when he's trying to pass something off as a joke while also seriously meaning it. "I wouldn't just shine your shoes and take out the trash, Buck."

The jerky is now crushed beyond recognition. And Bucky gets it. His Steve's Peggy was gone and Peggy was back in the 40s so his Steve went back there. This Steve's Bucky's gone and there's a Bucky here so here he is. "Steve, I'm not your Bucky. I'm not the guy who got rescued in the 40s. I'm the guy who's put multiple bullets in you and tried to beat you to death. God dammit, I'm the guy who killed Howard and Maria Stark."

"Oh," Steve lets out. And to think Bucky was lucky enough not to have been there to witness when his Steve found out what Bucky really is, and-- "If this is you trying to own up to the Winter Soldier deeds, I don't think anyone who really knows all that actually happened would blame you, Howard and Maria included."

Bucky scowls, equal parts surprised and exasperated, then adds "I don't have a spare room, Steve. This is not even my arm," waving the thing around as he says it.

"If this is you not wanting anything to do with me, then I'll just..." Steve goes on like he didn't hear what Bucky's just said, although his voice does become a bit wobbly. "I know it might be weird that I'm here and I know it looks like I'm trying for a replacement now that my Bucky's gone but I--"

Steve puts the unopened soda down. Apparently this is not the can-of-soda-in-hand part of the conversation.

"I don't know what you want. And I'm here so--"

Bucky throws the crumpled bag of jerky at him. "I want you to be happy." The bag is caught with grace -- which is good, because there's still some left. "There's probably enough of the stuff left, or we can ask Pym for more. You can go back--"

"If I were to go back, it would be to one of your granddaughters in my timeline who got a crush on me."

Steve better be joking, which-- Oh. So, with grave seriousness, Bucky declares "You have my blessing if that's what you're looking for."

Steve's scandalized face is precious. "God no, Buck. I was joking. I would never--" Bucky cracks then, which makes Steve backpedal. "You knew I was joking and you turn my joke against me," Steve says with an accusatory pout.

Bucky reaches for a pack of crackers, bypassing the multi-grain. "Seriously, though. I meant you could go back, wake yourself up early this time."

"If I were to cause another branch in time, it'd be to force my way to the 107th and stay with you until Other-other-me catches up," Steve supplies, and then grimaces, putting the jerky down with the remaining marshmallows. "I mean, there'd be a timeline where you never got captured. A nice timeline, but it'd be just that, another timeline. It wouldn't change anything elsewhere."

"But it would, because you'd know it exists."

"Bucky--"

"Steve. You know I'm right."

"Yeah, but I--" Steve cuts himself off and deflates -- honest-to-God closing-his-eyes letting-out-his-breath hunching-down drooping deflates. "I'm not saying this right."

Bucky waits, doesn't forget the crackers but they can wait, too.

"I wasn't gonna ask, but I did, because I wanted to know what happened. I asked him where you were."

That part of Bucky's memory has always been blurry. If his Steve went back to rescue him in the 40s then "Probably with the Russians, I think."

"No, I didn't mean--" Steve looks up at him. "He said you were here. I'd always thought you were gone, because why else wouldn't he have returned here? But then he said he left you here and-- I wanted to punch him so hard but I didn't think I could've stopped once I started."

Steve huffs out a laugh. Bucky's maybe a bit concerned.

"He found you, found my Bucky. And for that, I'll forever be in his debt. I'm fine with him waking me up to fight the Chitauri and I'm fine with him basically having stolen my life even though he could've just unfrozen me and pointed me in the right direction. But that me left you here and that's--"

"It's fine." Because it is, but Steve's face after Bucky says that is... Bucky wants to look away, but Steve's looking at him, anguished and searching and--

"It's not fine," Steve utters, small, shaky. "He had a time-travel kit ready for me, did you know? I think he figured so I could go back and repeat what he did, make it a stable time loop or something."

Probably no one else in any timeline knows what it's like. Steve knows what Steve was thinking, would think, would've thought, can follow every conceivable hypothetical with Steve's logic. His Steve cares about Peggy and Bucky so he went back for a dance-and-rescue mission. At the same time, his Steve's martyrdom kept himself on ice so he could be thawed out just in time for when the world needed Captain America again. But himself in this case is not his Steve's self because it's this Steve's. And--

"It's not fine," Steve repeats, with vehemence this time. "I know you're fine with it, I know my Bucky would've been fine with it, but it's not fine. You said-- You and my Bucky said 'til the end of the line and not without me and I freaking left you here! I don't know if you still want any Steve in your life at all but--"

"You're not my Steve," Bucky tells him again, and reaches out, because Steve's crying. Maybe every Steve takes all the stupid with him.

"But I am, him."

"You're not him. You said it yourself, you would've gone back to a different point in time. I know it bothers you because you understand Steve's logic. He went back to after the Valkyrie had crashed because he wouldn't risk the lives of millions just for a happy ending and he knew every Bucky would be fine with him making that choice. You both think the same, but you're not him. You didn't leave, and you came here before Past-him even disappeared. He went back so there can be a timeline where there's a happy ending and now there is. He's made sure there is. And now we know that timeline exists, your Bucky included."

Steve's face doesn't change, which means he still doesn't get it. Maybe this Steve took Bucky's Steve stupid with him also.

"You didn't leave, and Steve's logic says it's not weird that you're here in his place just like how it wasn't weird that he was there in your place. Steve's logic makes sense to all Steves."

It takes several seconds, then Bucky practically sees a lightbulb come on over Steve's head. "No."

"He had a travel kit ready for you," Bucky points out.

Steve's eyes widen, a little teary still. "You're wrong. Don't try and justify his actions. No Steve is that smart."

And this confirms Bucky's already-sound judgment because Steve and only Steve would think that that's smart. "I think your Bucky figured it out and got pissed but couldn't argue because only Steve can make any final decision for Steve."

"But that's stupid," Steve proclaims loudly, enough to scare off the chip-eating fish.

"That's Steve's logic for ya." Bucky gives Steve's shoulder a few consolatory pats. "I bet my Steve didn't even tell your Bucky exactly where in the Atlantic you were."

Steve turns to look at Bucky's hand on his shoulder, then back at Bucky, and appears to be bracing himself. "So does that mean you still want some Steve in your life?"

"Of course. Don't ever doubt that, ever." Bucky draws his hand back and extends the pack of crackers as a peace offering. "Okay, punk?"

Steve looks confused for a beat before snatching and putting the saltine away. "Jerk. Multi-grain's a lot healthier."

Which circles back to "You know I'm not what you--"

"I know you," Steve interrupts him. "I knew you before you fell because you and I and my Bucky and your Steve shared that part of the timeline. I know what has happened to you since then because your Steve told me and you and I both know he wouldn't've lied. I know about Howard and Maria and other Winter Soldier deeds. I know about the Triskelion, the bullet wounds, Natasha, Sam, Tony and Siberia. I also know about the stuff HYDRA put inside your head, about how they kept putting your brain in a blender, about you pulling him from the river and about you going back under. You can tell me about it all over again but I know you, Buck. So please."

Bucky sighs, wonders how Other-Bucky dealt with having two Steves in life. Guess he'll find out. "I had an apartment in Bucharest. It got trashed, but it wasn't much to begin with." He starts tossing the chips in his lap into the water, one after the other as the fish swim back. Steve and his multi-grain can suck it. "They gave me a hut in Wakanda. You can come see the goats if you want."

"Sure, Buck." Steve's hand closes in to catch Bucky's. "I'd love to come and see your goats," is said with solemnity.

"They're not my goats. They are strong, independent goats who don't need no human." Steve stops dead, a little shell-shocked. Serves him right. "We don't have to be anywhere."

"We?" A wild full-on starry-eyed look appears.

"Yeah, we. We can be anywhere." Bucky grabs the discarded can of soda and pops it open. "You gave Sam the shield."

"How do you know I did?" Bucky can almost hear the cogs in Steve's brain grinding, taking a few sips while he waits. "Oh."

"Now you're getting it."

-

"Dammit," Steve curses, somewhere near the Grand Canyon.

"What?" Bucky asks from where he's lounging in the passenger seat.

"Nothing." Steve glances at the rearview mirror before looking back at the road, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "Just-- I've loved you long before I did Peggy and he married my Peggy and now I don't feel like I was leading her on."

"You just figured that out?" Bucky intones, then laughs as Steve shoots a betrayed look at him.

Steve's got no one to blame but himself -- and also Steve, who's napping smugly in the backseat.

They're Bucky's Steves.

**Author's Note:**

> So uh, I swore off anything MCU because of Endgame and was a wreck and sulked and-- It was overly dramatic, y'all. And I wasn't gonna talk about it or rant about it or write any fic about it or try to justify what they did or do anything to increase their publicity no matter however so slightly because that'd be playing right into their hands, right? But then, (only nearly three) months later, I realize that I wouldn't have even come to care about these characters or the canon this much if it wasn't for the fandom and that the people in the fandom are here for each other. So here I am because I would like to be a part of a community that writes fics and makes arts and posts funny/insightful/heartfelt comments and supports each other. And here I realize I got all dramatic again so I'm gonna stop. I hope you enjoyed reading my version of Not my Steve (regardless of my inability to save Peggy's family from the original timeline while adhering to MCU canon), and now I'm gonna go read all the wonderful fics I couldn't bring myself to since Endgame. Bye~


End file.
